Taking care of yourself, when others have depression

I find myself taking care of several people close to me, who have depression. This situation has become overwhelming, and I am at a loss of what to do.How can I take care of myself, when other people around me need help in dealing with depression?

It is important to realize that someone suffering from depression affects everyone in his or her life.Caregivers, friends and family members, often find themselves overwhelmed with trying to meet the needs of someone, in their life with depression. This can be compounded if there is more then one person in your life, with depression. It becomes even more important to take time, to take care of yourself. Remember that if you fall apart, you will not be any help to those who need you the most.

It can be difficult if someone you love has a mood disorder. You may be struggling with any number of difficult emotions that can include: helplessness, frustration, anger, fear, guilt, sadness. It is important to remember that all of these feelings are normal. Dealing with a friend, or family member's depression is difficult, and overwhelming.

There is a natural impulse to want to fix the problems of people we love; however you must realize that you can't control a loved one's depression. You can, however, control how well you take care of yourself. The bottom line is that it is just as important for you to stay healthy, as it is for the depressed person to get treatment, so you must make your own well-being a priority.

It is important to think of this time as a marathon, and not a sprint.Here are some tips that will help you keep up your strength as you support your loved one, through depression treatment and recovery.

• Do not be afraid to speak up for yourself. You feel hesitant to speak out when the depressed person in your life upsets you, or lets you down. You should know that communicating will actually help the relationship in the long run. If you are suffering in silence, and letting resentment build, your loved one will pick up on these negative emotions, and feel even worse. Focus on gently talking about how you're feeling, before pent-up emotions make it too hard to communicate with sensitivity.


• Do not be afraid to set boundaries. You need to realize that while you want to help there is only so much you can do. The reality is that your own health will suffer, if you let your life be controlled by your loved one's depression. You will not be able to be a caretaker round the clock, without paying a psychological price. To avoid burnout and resentment, you need to set clear limits on what you are willing and able to do. In addition you need to remember that you are not your love one's therapist, so don't take on that responsibility.


• Do not be afraid to stay on track with your own life. Stay on track with your own life. While you may need to make some changes in your daily routine, while caring for your friend or relative, you need to do your best to keep appointments, and plans with friends.


• Do not be afraid to seek support. It is crucial to understand that you are not betraying your depressed relative, or friend, by turning to others for support. Consider joining a support group, talking to a counselor or clergyman, or confiding in a trusted friend, to help you get through this tough time. Remember that you don't need to go into detail about your loved one's depression, or betray confidences; but instead focus on your emotions, and what you are feeling.